The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
