Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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