mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i will never coherently bang her
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
