I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
