We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
only you would photoshop your dick
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
