dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
