im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
