I feel like abortions should bother me more
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
