This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
