I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.