Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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