some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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