idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
