their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If I die, sorry about rent.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
