It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
