Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?