New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.