so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Welp...herpes.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
