We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.