i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
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He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
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Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already