Just cropdusted the office
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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