Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
