I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
