She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
