I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
