weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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