Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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