Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
