State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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