just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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