Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
