i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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