batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
