There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
