I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
