all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
