It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
