Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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