Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
