Who wears a wallet chain?!
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
