morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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