Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
