a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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