no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My dad is sitting where you rode me
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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