My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
