I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm both gender and math confused
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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