Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize