Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
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I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
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He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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