i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
