dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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