i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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