You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
