I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just forgot I was standing up.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Panties = found
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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