My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My ass is underappreciated
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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