He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize