Midget sex pt 2 tonight
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
