Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
