Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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