pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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