lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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