Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I need water and some morals
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
