I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
