Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
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