Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
