the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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