I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
