It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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